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Tuesday, January 27, 2009

But Wait! There's More!

"you, too, can own a piece of history..."

It's the start of at least three different sales pitches for things I could buy to prove I was alive this year. Of course, since I can't buy back my ballot (to prove I voted one way OR the other), and because I didn't spend thousands to millions of dollars to freeze my ass off watching the speech and parade and instead watched from a wonderfully warm home, it's mandatory that I buy something. It would be, well, UNAMERICAN not to.

In fact, I sit here, watching these commercials for things I will NEVER buy, regardless of how I voted, what I wanted for the electoral outcome or how I feel about BO's presidency (and let's remember he has four long years to make mistakes in), and kicking myself in the ASS for not having thought to get in on the action.

Has BO helped the economy? No just yeah, but Hell, yeah! As we southerners like to say. BO has provided job security for all the people at the non-US mints, every T-shirt printing company in the world and several music folks as well. He's probably also ensured jobs for anyone involved in the selling of these items (ma & pop stores ought to stock up) and anyone related to those folks should also be seeing black. So, in much the same way the Bushy ensured bill collectors would never be out of jobs (and people with better jobs would become bill collectors after talking to a few), OB has already produced a crop of new rich folks.

And that's a damned good thing if you ask me, because it would be downright unamerican to be alive in this moment in time and not own a "Kennedy Half Dollar of Barack Obama." Sadly, I must defer the purchases until I have a paycheck not already owed to others, and until I figure out what the hell a Kennedy half dollar of BO actually is.

How UNAmerican of me.

(Allcaps and non caps intended.)

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